University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Campus, Student BEING A COLLEGE SENIOR DURING COVID-19: STUCK
My first thought: when i wake up is: oh, let me go make my cup of coffee and then um. I try, usually i’ll, throw on a hoodie and i’ll just hop on to class i’m, not really a get ready for a zoom class kind of gal. Like i log on and then i kind of just like am there, i don’t know if i’m actually like like i’m there but mentally, i don’t know if i’m checked in so do you think that’s a product of online learning? Yes, mixed with a little personality, i will say this semester. I definitely feel like i’m, putting more time into studying, um and actually don’t procrastinate as much. So i think that has been an upside the past couple weeks, i think, have gone by really quickly. Every day goes by really fast, just because i just kind of it’s like the same thing in the same place day by day, pretty repetitive, what about it’s repetitive, so the time passes pretty quickly first it’s monday, and then the next thing i know is a friday Music, i think i’ve gotten into a really bad habit of just staying in my apartment, and so i wake up and i do work and i sit at this place or i sit at the table or i sit on the small of the couch and i just Don’T ever leave um milo would be having to get up and do school every day.
It’S that hard, no it’s, not hard it’s. Just i don’t want to do it. Why um, i don’t know laziness. Do you normally have these feelings when you’re not online? All the time, no so it’s because we’re online, why do you think that is because you go from? Like you said, you know, you’re watching a lecture on the computer screen and then you got ta go, do homework on that same computer screen, so i feel like it’s, not enough mobility. I really just feel stuck just kind of in the same place. Doing the same things, i definitely feel that i do feel stuck. The last couple of weeks have been rough wow, just because i’ve like been in this apartment like saying that i’ll do work and then not being able to do work and then just feeling frustrated, and it feels really cyclic and, like, i think, being a regular college Student, you have all these things again that, like punctuate that feeling of constantly doing work, it is hard to. I think because school is at home and work working for school, like homework is also at home, it’s hard to differentiate, differentiate like when it’s time to close a laptop and do something non school related. I’M. Not like sad, like i miss my friends. Yes, i miss going out. Yes, you know you roll with the punches. I don’t want to speak for everyone, but i feel like a lot of people have like up and down days, which i feel like.
I have like a lot every day is an adjustment um, but i mean it just feels like the new normal now honestly, the normal milestones of the semester. Obviously we didn’t hit and a lot of those were like events on campus or just like parties that everybody talks about um. I, the the weeks just kind of like blur together and everything sort of feels the same. It doesn’t really feel like we’ve, been here for two months or however, however long we’ve been here, and you know, we’ve got a month left like how does that feel to you so weird, it doesn’t feel real like it. Doesn’T, like i just time, does not exist anymore. I don’t know if that makes sense, but time doesn’t feel like it’s. Real, like it’s, just like every day is just going by at the beginning, i was focused on you, know, adapting and trying to make the most out of the situation, but yeah i’m i’m pretty close to being over it. So i think at this point it’s more about just getting the work done and just kind of like having it behind me. It seems like next semester is going to be just like this one of everyone sort of being in their own little bubbles, which i kind of forget that you all have people in classrooms still right now we do yeah. I i forget that, because i’m not i’ve been to campus twice um, which is sad, maybe i should go out there more often just to see it.
I was talking about this to my roommates, but it sometimes feels like we’re, not an undergrad anymore. It feels like we’re like past that and we’re just like living near campus, and sometimes we get to go on campus as long as we’re in the state that we’re in as far as the pandemic i’m, not really going to want to have a desire to go Back to classes just because i would be in the same space as those people who are going to bars and who are putting themselves at risk i’m. Sure a lot of people want to get back in the classroom. But for me, like i, don’t want to be back in the classroom feeling anxious about the people around me, as, as things start to open up a little and people kind of get a feel for what this next year is going to bring.